Habits, Nuns and "It's the thing you do, before the thing that you do!"

 "If you want to change a habit be a nun," or so the old joke goes.  Changing a behavioral habit is hard. I don't remember where I learned that it took about 22 days to change a behavior. That number is highly variable. It is somewhat based on how entrenched the behavior is, and how motivated you are to change it.  Some things take much longer.  There are lots of behaviors that parents want their kids to change.  Parents frequently want their kids to stop whining (see previous post 6/12/2012) or give up sucking a thumb or chewing nails.  Sometimes, adults have trouble remembering to take medications or where they put their keys.  So they want to start a new behavior, like putting the keys in a certain place.

It helps, if you figure out that thing that you do...before the thing that you do. You've got to structure for yourself or your child, when the new behavior will happen. For instance if it is taking medication at a meal, its important to get the medication on the table before you start eating.  If it's remembering where you put your keys, its important to roll back the clock.   Before you sit down or change clothing...before you even think about anything else..., hang them up  wherever you are supposed to keep them. It's about that thing that you do, before the thing that you do.

Just remember it will take at least 22 days to make it a habit.  Be patient with yourself. Don't slide into criticism, be encouraging (see post from 6/14/12 on self esteem).  You probably are going to forget the new behavior for a while. You will have to start your count over.  Keep at it. You can do it.  Just remember, if the nun doesn't put on her habit before she talks to the priest, that would not be so good. If you don't remember to do that thing you do, before the thing that you do, learning that new habit probably isn't going to be so very good.