I recently read an article about building resilience in children. It was pretty boring.  No, not re-silence in children. This article is not about ways to shut them up. Resilience.  Yes, yes, I know, resilience is one of those words  psychologists use  that take a reasonably interesting subject and suck the life out of it. In a nutshell, (have you ever noticed that when you try to summarize something psychologists say you always end up having to use the phrase; "in a nutshell?"  I think that says something about psychologists.) resilience is the ability to bounce back from something stressful. Like a Weeble.  Do you remember Weebles?   You know; "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."  That is resilience.

We need to be resilient or once something bad happens, we would just collapse. Get a bad grade? Don't bother with even trying to study anymore.  Have an argument with a spouse?  Don't bother getting out of bed. Sounds a bit like avoidance and a lot like what happens when people get depressed.  Fortunately, most of us take time to lick our wounds when something bad happens, but then we get back up and get back at it. That's resilience. We can "try and try again."

ADHD kids are very resilient.  One minute they are getting scolded and the next minute they are up and back doing the same behavior. Resilience is both a blessing and a curse for them. When there isn't a consolidation of learning from the life setback...the pattern is just repeated.  We all do this sometimes.  Kids with ADHD do it over and over again.  To the point of exasperating their parents.  This has a very unfortunate consequence.  Parents would like to be able to tell their kids something once and move on. Do you remember that old shaming statement? "Fool me once shame on  you, fool me twice shame on me."   In other words, we must learn things the first time or we are fools.  What a load of judgmental crap!

 Folks, if you have children with ADHD  you are going to have to use repetition to overcome their ADHD.  No, absolutely, do not try to get first time obedience. I know it would make your life easier.  But you have got to think it through.  If you crush their resilience you will be left with a child that can't bounce back and still can't stop doing the impulsive, hyperactive and inattentive things they do.  They won't learn.  The child just won't have any joy in them at all. Instead of a Weeble you will have an egg.  Same basic size and shape.  Same basic properties.

Just remember..., eggs break!