Ewoks, Halloween Candy and Post Halloween Fears

My folks didn't let us watch much in the way of scary movies around Halloween   It always seemed like bedtime came really early in October. I wonder if my folks didn't move the clocks ahead of Daylight Savings time, just so we wouldn't see all the scary movies we were missing..  We got to go trick or treating.  We got to carve pumpkins and have Halloween parties.  Unfortunately, without the scary stuff Halloween became an exercise in gross food.  The scariest thing that happened most Halloweens was hearing horror stories about hooks in somebody 's Halloween cookie or caramel apple.

Developmentally, children work through and develop anger around 2-3 and fears around 4-5.  Though I beg you to forgive the gross oversimplification here. Please be attuned to your kids sleep habits following Halloween   Parents usually say their kids don't have nightmares.  Their kid's will then draw me pictures in elaborate detail describing their nightmares to me. The parents are often stunned.

We work with fear through play and repetition. Halloween is a kind of play where we have the opportunity to face our fears. Most kids have a lot of fun dressing up in costumes.  A little bit of role playing adventure is  also good to overcome fears. Sometimes it is spontaneous. When I was doing observations at HeadStart, the kids would express their fears on the playground.  Sometimes a child or a group of children would suddenly start yelling and chasing me.  Sometimes, I would be arrested by a mob of 20-30 three foot tall policeman.  Some days, I would be captured by 20-30  three foot tall monsters. It was a lot like the scene with the Ewoks from "The Return of the Jedi."  It was a lot of work making sure I didn't fall on one of the cute little fur balls. 

The Grimm's fairy tales were also a good way to work through fears.  I don't remember where, but I read one time that modern day, politically correct, disney-esque versions of  these tales actually caused more nightmares.  If I remember correctly, the original tales (which resulted in the death of the villain and were therefore considered more violent), actually were more resolved in children's minds and caused less anxiety. The more politically correct version where the villain saw the error of their ways were next best  and caused some anxiety among children who feared that the villains changed and would change back.  Children are very concrete and don't trust this type of change. The most anxiety provoking were the stories that the villain was run off and never seen again.  Apparently, never seen again is less reassuring than dead. So if you like to tell scary makeup stories with your kids.  Kill the bad guy.  They will sleep better.  Please don't let young children watch Freddie, Jason, Jack or Snakes on Planes.

Oh and one more thing.  If you kids are having trouble after Halloween give me a call 641-753-0440.  Dealing with fears is one of the things I do best.  I think it may come from having older siblings.  Older siblings are never quite as cautious as their parents, about the stories they tell their younger siblings.