Chocolate smells and time out tells!

"Whachoo got?" said my three year old as I walked, nonchalantly, through the living room.  She stuck her nose up in the air and sniffed.  "Whatchoo got?" she repeated, "I mell chocolate."  I was so busted.  Yep, she got some. How could I say no?  Who knew that my child would have such a prodigious sense of smell.  To this day, I cannot hide chocolate from that child, she still can s..."mell" it a mile away.

As a parent, I was never above trying to slip something past my kids. I must have a tell. You know, a subtle behavioral signal that gives you away.  A tell. It didn't matter what I was trying to slip past them.  Chocolate, ice cream or that I was being serious. My eldest never fell for that one..., ever!  She has a prodigious sense of humor.  I was never able to pretend like I was more upset with her than I actually was feeling.    

Fortunately, time outs aren't about the parent being upset.  We don't use anger to do time outs.  We do time outs because time outs are what they need to learn self control.  If we only did it when we felt upset or thought the child deserved to be punished,  they soon will deserve it. The message becomes; 'You are terrible.' Why would you want to teach your child that?  Nope, we do time outs because the child needs us to give them time outs.  This is great, because we don't have to get upset. 

 The issue here is that some parents don't want to follow through.  They don't want to give their kids a time out.  Maybe they don't like the child being upset or they want their kids to be happy. If the child has earned the time out, they need to get control of themselves before going on.  The message is 'You can control your behavior.' That is why they are getting the time out.  Don't cheat them out of it. The only time I think it's okay to drop the timed part of a time out, is when they fall asleep during their tantrum.  Don't wake them up.  When they do wake, don't lecture them.  They probably were over-tired and just need the magic of a new start. 

Chocolate smells and time out tells

A child grows older day by day

A whispered word and love is heard

let the anger fade away.

Timers count.

Your child will pout

Follow through anyway.

Self control will be their guide
and Love will light their days. 

Chocolate smells and time outs tells

your child grows older day by day.