Hours and minutes are handy little devices. They allow us to share beginnings of work days and school days, set meetings and appointments, they even allow us to schedule fun! However, there are occasions when time is a hindrance and even a trap.
Anyone can be ensnared by time traps. Waiting in line is a common trap. For most of us, it is not usually a big deal to wait. However, when time pulls you in two directions at one time, that can be an issue. For instance, when you are school shopping with items in your cart and in line for the cash register and suddenly you realize you have forgotten something, now you are caught. In the meantime, you know you have to pick up your child up from daycare soon. Do you leave the line, retrieve the item and know you are going to be late to pick up your child? Do you stay in line and resign yourself to another trip to the store? That is a pretty common trap. You can handle that though. You can make the choice. The best part is that you recognize the trap and that you have a decision to make.
The person with no conscious doesn't struggle with these decisions. They just run roughshod over everyone else in their way. The ADHD person, however, doesn't even recognize the situation for a trap. They impulsively push into line, or out of it, without recognizing their inconsideration of others. They are making decisions based on their last or most pressing thought. The ADHD individual and the person without conscience will often act the same, in certain situations. They are very different. The ADHD adult will likely have remorse when they recognize that their behavior was hurtful to others. The ADHD child may not slow down enough to recognize they have harmed someone. This trap occurs in lots of situations and over and over again, throughout an ADHD child's life. Waiting is extremely difficult for the ADHD child. Just think of all the situations that are time traps for them....
Mercy!
The more hyperactive the child is, the greater the likelihood that they have been treated like they are evil little demons. The people dealing with these ADHD children have to deal with judgement traps. They need to recognize the behavior of the child, but take care to consider the child's intention, not just rush to judgment. They must ask themselves the question; "is this child being oppositional or antisocial or impulsive?" The impulsive behaviors need to be redirected. The oppositional behaviors may need a more serious consequence. The antisocial person is a whole other ballgame.
As a parent, you may have mastered the patience to deal with time traps. Can you master dealing with your ADHD child's time traps? Can you master dealing with your ADHD spouse's time traps? Can you master the calmness to deal with all the judgement traps also? ...
Mercy!
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