Grounded from What?

So you've worked to establish consistent rules with predictable outcomes so your child can make good decisions.  Only it is no longer seems as effective as it once was. Children are very adaptive and often they have a better sense of when you actually follow through versus when you say you'll follow through.  If that's the case you need to get back to following through instead of issuing so many warnings. However, this could be also be a sign that you have been very effective at setting the consequences and have become a little too predictable.

Baseball pitchers can have the best fastball in the world and still get hit.  If the batter always knows what pitch is coming and where it is coming, sooner or later someone will catch up to it. Pitchers are advised to get ahead in the count.  Work it in and out, and up and down. Changes pitches.  Mix up the pattern from inning to inning.  Keep the hitter from getting to settled into the rhythm.

With parenting, sometimes you have to mix it up. If they are always grounded to the bedroom, they may have developed a tolerance for reading or watching TV in the bedroom.  You probably don't want to take away the books. You  probably do want to get the TV out of the room (Stay tuned for a  future blog soapbox on this one). But there are alternatives to grounding to the room.

Here are some examples;

1) Grounded to a table if homework isn't done, (Again, till they show you finished homework and with appropriate drink and bathroom breaks and if the TV isn't visible for that one).

2) If they are not getting along with a sibling, ground both of them to the same table until they can be civil.

3) If they are upsetting the whole house ground them from being in the same room if there are more than 1 person in that room.

These aren't for everybody and so you have to make adjustments and experiment a bit.  Always remember basics like bathroom breaks and basic needs.  How long for groundings is difficult to set.  Too long and you can get frustration acting out.  Too short and no effect. I advise time periods from 1 day to 1 week.  If your having more trouble than that you probably need to get into counseling and get specific advice to your situation.