Sour Grapes & Tie Breakers

You've heard it before.  "Holding grudges is bad for you."  "Revenge is a punishment you dish to yourself when you serve it to someone else".  Wish I could remember who said the last quote.  Wasn't me!  I do know that it is true.  Families can hold all kinds of grudges.  Parents can blame each other for a lot of things.  It tends to start with keeping score.  Who got up with the baby last?  Who has done the most around the house?  Kids learn at a very young age how to play the score card. "I never get to do anything" or "I set the table last time."   Thank goodness for the peacemakers in every family.  They are the ones that settle differences.

My friend Bob is a peacemaker.  I learned that when we were working as camp counselors together.  At the time, I confess I  didn't understand what he was doing.  At my campsite, the kids helped themselves to seconds after everyone got firsts and 98% of the time that worked out fine.  If an issue ever came up we worked it out.  Bob though was a middle child.  He preferred not to have any conflict ever!  So when we were on a picnic with a group of kids I was shocked to see this long line of kids waiting with their "Sierra" cups in hand.  Bob had done the math and had rationed out 6 grapes a piece.  Distributed in two sets of three.  At the time I thought, that is not many grapes, whats going on?  Apparently the other bunch got damaged and dumped.  (I don't think Bob was hoarding them, though I knew counselors that did do that kind of stuff).  

The game "Scene it" is full of tiebreakers.  They are like the ways we resolved issues at camp.   Whenever there's an argument about who got done first, there is a task to resolve the argument.  I recommend making a jar of tie breakers. If an argument breaks out draw out a tie breaker and use it.  Make it random things that don't always favor the same person.  It is okay to sit down and make these up with your kids. Here are a few examples. Keep these handy they make things a lot more peaceful. 

1)Who is wearing red?

2)Who can hold their breath the longest?

3) Who is nearest the door?

4)Who can make the funniest face?

5)Who can touch their tongue on their nose?

6)Who is tiniest?

7)Who can whistle?

8)Who can stand on tiptoes the longest (no pushing)?