Ages, Stages, Permissions and NO!

Earrings, cellphones, first dates and tattoos.  
Skateboards and minibikes, motorbikes too.
Just friends, nose rings , girlfriends and going steady.
Mohawks, blue and green hair, boyfriends a plenty. 


Facebook and Wii, Play station 3, Twitter with 4 square... cool.
Eye liner, eye shadow, eyebrow plucking, lip stick and rouge.   
Hanging out, overnight, shopping malls,  and dances 
and for some clubbing and fake driver license chances .

That's a lot of parental decisions.
For some that's a lot of no's.
For some that's a lot of yes's.

Here is a quick self assessment.
Do you say yes because you don't be the one to say no?
Do you say yes because  you feel guilty?
Do you say no because your parents did?
Do you say no because it just seems wrong?
Do you say yes because you don't want to disappoint the kid?
Do you say yes because all the other kids get to do it?
Do you say no because you don't want him angry?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you may want some help in looking at the decisions you are making. The question for some of these decisions probably isn't  yes or no.  The question is when?
At some point  they will make the decisions about how they look and what they do! If you always say no, they will stop asking.  But you need to say no to protect you child so they aren't spoiled or injured. "NO, you may not drop the microwave on the freeway!"  At some point  decisions need to stand because it is wrong not because it seems wrong.  You want to help them grow up.  If there isn't any dialogue they won't learn.  So you are  going to have argument's and they are going to accuse you of hating them.  That's all part of the process. Trust takes time.  Learning to trust them takes time.  It's not often much fun.  Frankly, I blame smurfs for blue hair.

I will spend some time on developmental ages next week.  Please let me know, what was the hardest age permission issue for you to decide? What was the easiest?